Every February the same question returns: how much should you spend on Valentine’s Day? Retailers have an answer, which is “more.” The National Retail Federation projected that Americans would spend a record $27.5 billion on the holiday in 2025, about $190 per person who celebrates. Jewelry, an evening out and flowers take the biggest shares.
You do not have to match the average. But you do need a plan, because both overspending and underspending send a message.
The bracket rule
Here is a simple way to set a number. Think about two past gifts:
- The ceiling: what you spent on your partner’s last big occasion, such as a birthday or anniversary. Valentine’s Day should cost less than that. It is a holiday, not a milestone.
- The floor: what you spent the last time you bought something for no reason at all, or to apologize. Valentine’s Day should cost more than that. It is an occasion, not an apology.
Pick a number between the two and you are unlikely to get it badly wrong. If you are early in a relationship and have no history, err small and personal.
Bling, or not
Jewelry makes sense when it marks something: a first Valentine’s together after an engagement, a hard year survived. Otherwise, the gifts people remember tend to be experiences and effort: a cooked dinner, a trip planned around something they love, a handwritten letter. Research by psychologists including Cornell University’s Thomas Gilovich has repeatedly found that people tend to get more lasting happiness from experiences than from material purchases.
Do not finance romance
Whatever you decide, do not put it on a credit card you cannot pay off. With average card interest rates above 20 percent, a $300 necklace paid off slowly can cost far more than its price tag. Nothing says “I love you” less than still paying for the roses in July.
Sources: Valentine’s Day data and trends, National Retail Federation; Consumer Credit G.19, Federal Reserve; Valentine’s Day, Wikipedia.
