The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: Relationship Warning Signs You Totally Spotted… But Chose to Ignore grew out of BigRedFlags.com, a blog where women submitted stories of the moments they should have seen coming. The authors, writer Natasha Burton, comedy writer Julie Fishman and yoga teacher Meagan McCrary, turned it into a book published by Adams Media in 2011.
What is inside
The book sorts warning signs into chapters by type: the man who has not grown up, the one who is still attached to his ex, the one with questionable hygiene or questionable honesty. Each mixes reader stories, some of them spectacular train wrecks, with lists of red flags and advice on what to do when you spot one. The stories are the hook. Some of the real-life pickup lines and Valentine’s gifts included are the kind you read aloud to friends.
The message
Beneath the jokes is one consistent idea: if something feels off, it probably is. The book encourages readers to trust their instincts, set their own rules and stop explaining away behavior that bothers them. That is sound advice, and it is delivered without lecturing.
Limits
The book is written for women dating men, and some of its jokes lean on stereotypes. It is not a substitute for real help in an abusive relationship. Readers in that situation should contact a resource such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline rather than a humor book.
Verdict
A fun, slightly voyeuristic read with more practical value than its jokey cover suggests. Best shared among friends, with commentary.
Sources: The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags, Simon & Schuster; Review, Marie Claire; National Domestic Violence Hotline.
