There is an old joke about management consultants: they borrow your watch to tell you what time it is, and then they keep the watch. A version of it appeared in Robert Townsend’s 1970 business bestseller Up the Organization, and it has been repeated in boardrooms ever since.
In 2005 Martin Kihn, a writer who had worked as a consultant, built a whole book around it. House of Lies: How Management Consultants Steal Your Watch and Then Tell You the Time was a satirical tour of the industry, complete with a glossary translating consultant jargon into plain English.
A short glossary
The jokes still land because the language has not changed much. A few common phrases and what they often mean in practice:
- “Let’s take this offline”: I do not want to discuss this in front of the client.
- “Low-hanging fruit”: the things you could have done yourself.
- “Synergies”: usually, job cuts after a merger.
- “Best practices”: what we told your competitor last year.
- “Right-sizing”: see “synergies.”
From book to screen
Showtime turned the book into a comedy series, House of Lies, which ran from 2012 to 2016. Don Cheadle played Marty Kaan, a ruthless and very funny consultant, and won a Golden Globe for the role in 2013.
Why companies still hire them
The satire works because there is truth in it, but it is not the whole truth. Consultants are often hired to provide an outside view, extra hands, or cover for decisions management has already made. A good one can spot problems insiders have stopped seeing. The lesson of House of Lies is not to never hire them. It is to check your own watch first.
Sources: House of Lies, Wikipedia; Up the Organization, Wikipedia.
